I never told you this story
one of many there wasn’t time to tell –
remember these –
that day, during Gezi, Taksim ?
I was to hold you close and whisper to you
But there was never time
never
and then you were gone
The last glorious summer afternoon
before a dark and cold winter
Gone
Walking in a foreign city
an old man knocked down by a run-away car
screaming, an old woman – his wife – asking her god for help
I heard her
Throwing down my papers, my life
Running
a missile – interception
jumped through the still-opened door –
missing would have meant…. well, you know what it would have meant –
but I didn’t miss
Stopping the car
calmed the old woman
went back for the old man, lying inert on the pavement
She cried to her god for help
I wasn’t her god
but I was there
my life lying on that pavement, too
I thought I was strong
Brave
I’m not
Of being called to help one dark late evening
another foreign city
‘A man is sick, he needs you, quickly, come !….’
there was no man needing help
Set up for a shooting
I was the target
there was no man needing help
They failed.
My life on that dirt path
I thought I was strong
Brave
I’m not
Writing this
again near tears
The truth –
my truth –
is evident
Weak – that is one of my truths
The promise to step aside
to love you from afar
Ahh, so strong was my love for you that
I could do this
With such confidence I spoke this lie
I promised
Rumi
Rumi
I have failed you
your strength, your bravery
aren’t mine
Rising to the sun to see love’s true colors –
within sight of such beauty –
I have fallen
inches away….
falling
Too weak to keep this promise
I keep
But the cost
such cost
Shattered heart
bloodied soul
Lost
Such cost
Is love singular
Is joy rationed
Must such suffering
be my closest companion ?
24 August, 2013
Poetry: The Language of Pain and Love 