Quien Fue Feliz ?

You deserved more
I promised you no less than the truth
But when you asked
my response, a lie

No, no ! Don’t laugh !
I know what you’re thinking
I can see you:
face transforming to a smile
and then a laugh……
“You men, always liars”
But that’s not what I mean
Not that ! A different….a sadder… lie

But at least, are you happy ?
You asked me.
The answer you hoped for I could feel, smell, taste
So painful, foul, bitter.
I knew what it was you hoped for

Yes, of course
Mostly I’m happy
Of course

Who was happy ?

Shorn of hope
Broken
Bleeding
Halved
Who was happy ?

In a state of continuously searching for you,
for that dream,
that moment of joy:
Walking
Neruda’s city
Writing at that table, over wine and a burger
Sharing pínches, and more wine
Smiling: Can I kiss you ? As we round the plaza again
Sharing a moment
Life

Next to you on that bench
Glancing over….
I sit, still, on that bench outside the Center
look over and….
you’ve become as mist, gone
I was there……I was there
I sit, still on that bench, I am there

You asked, “Are you happy ?”
What meaning does that word have ?
Happy

Yes, of course, I replied, mostly
But how could you not hear ?
No ! Impossible ! I wander in exile, alone, searching

Like a man clinging to the last days of his life
He is soon to be lost; all will be lost
So too I cling to that bench
that memory
What was, what could have been

Are you happy ?
Ask anything, I will always answer….
But here, now, I fall to lies
Losing my grip, I begin the long descent
my demise
How could it be otherwise ?

Are you happy ?
Having lost
my half
my dawn
in life after life, I find and then lose you again

How happy ? Where joy ?
A lie is what I now live
It is I
me
who is ruined

11 January, 2014

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s