You are There

I look for you
everywhere
The kitchen nook where
standing, you stroked my cheek
That between-sofa space where
one night, that last night I held you
for a moment
a lifetime
a moment
I look for you everywhere.

I see you
everywhere
That scent…
In the corner of my office
sitting, watching
with love-laden eyes as I applaud our colleague
Love-laden eyes ? Some kind of love perhaps

Torn…this is how I remain
between what is and what might have been
what could have been and what was
Torn
between sorrow and some kind of joy
Joy ?
Your joy is mine as well but
I have no part in it, in you, now.

Once your half
your great love
Now…
I see you everywhere
look for you always.
This, then, is to be my life…
Lost
just lost.

2014
in exile

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