Duty, Honor – 2

Under this sky
crisp cold
black clear
Like flares, the shooting stars
Bright

I have stood here
On watch
Family
Home
Country

Stood on this rampart
year after year
And now
I want to leave
I so want to leave

What kind of man am I ?
I have seen
heaven

I want to return
to that place
to the warmth and kindness of
your embrace

But
what kind of man am I ?

To remove the cloak
covering the shoulders and head of those
I’ve cared for
watched over
for these decades.

Is that what I am to do ?

No
NO!

I cannot
I am not that person
Rather swallow stones
Rather the stone in my heart
grow and grow
so that it burst,
that I fall at my post

I cannot do this.
Fearful
A coward ?
Perhaps

What I know is that I will not
for my happiness
leave.
I don’t know how

In the early morning hours
on occasion
I will step off the rampart, put down my rifle, take off my helmet
remove my cartridge belt
and step to the stream
where you sit, waiting.

To be embraced in your warmth
if only for a short time
To feel your breath on my neck
The kindness of your hands
if only for a moment

My hope
my desire
my wish
This, only this
Nothing more is left

I return to my rampart,
sigh
scan the horizon
I will die here.
But I will not leave.
Moments with you
will be my heaven

The brightest star
in my sky
you.
I watch
I gaze upon it
you
from afar
I reach out my hand
to touch you
so far away

I have seen heaven
I have been there

Will I die here
in sadness ?
Will you have this bit of me ?
Any of me ?

—————————————–

November 2012
April 2013

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About teserak1

I am Noman
Gallery | This entry was posted in Now, Poetry and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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