Awakening

I awoke this morning
smaller
and sadder

Once Helen’s greatest love
My heart now lies in shreds
On the field before Troy

How does one fall
so far and so fast

I know
life is not lived in dreams
and sighs
Hopes
and whispers
But in a concrete reality of job and checkbook and car
and……
and all of those things

But oh, so beautiful were those dreams, sighs, hopes
and whispers and
touches

I awoke this morning
smaller and
sadder

Who knows when this ends
who knows how this ends

In transition
One is neither
at the beginning, nor at the end
One is somewhere in the middle –
a very difficult spot –

This is transition

Who can say where this ends
Who can say how this ends

I awoke this morning
smaller and sadder

I see before me
A host coming with swords drawn
I stand alone:
Loins girded for battle
Sword in hand
Shield at the ready

But I will lose.

Will I rise
Phoenix-like from this battle ?

Who can say where this ends
Who can say how this ends

I awoke this morning
smaller and sadder

9 July, 2012

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